Yes that’s right, in a official “Mocklamation”, Toronto Mayor, David Miller, has proclaimed Sunday, June 29th as Monkey Toast Day!

Hurray!! Yes, that’s right, I said “Hurray!”

Monkey Toast has been nominated for THREE Canadian Comedy Awards! Monkey Toast is nominated for Best Improv Troupe, Lisa Merchant is nominated for Best Female Improviser, and Doug Morency is nominated for Best Male Improviser. Plus, Monkey Toast Players, Jamillah Ross and Aurora Browne, are also nominated for Best Female Improviser (through different improv troupes) and Monkey Toast host, David Shore, is nominated for Best One-Person Show.

Congratulations to all the nominees!

Last night was the last of our Monday shows until August.  Maybe it’s just me, but it feels weird to perform Monkey Toast on a Monday.  What didn’t feel weird was the great audience that came out to see Mandi Gould and her Bees Knees swing dance demonstration, our favourite secretary Evelyn Reese, and Glen Peloso from Restaurant Makeover.

After some technical difficulties, the Bees Knees Dancers gave us a short but sweet swing dance demonstration.  So many people from the swing dance community came to the show to celebrate Frankie Manning’s 94th birthday.  Frankie is the King of Swing and he’s still dancing at 94.  We should all be so lucky!

In this photo of Mandi and me, I show the whole world that I cannot properly point my finger.  I am not ashamed.  Mandi also told us about another dance great,“Peg Leg” Bates (not to be confused with Monkey Toast’s own Paul Bates, who has a prosthetic ear).

Sometimes in improv you dig yourself into a hole.  No matter what you try to do, you can’t get out of the situation that you got yourself in without destroying the scene.  The harder you try, the deeper the hole gets.  Lauren Ash dug herself a tremendous hole in the previous improv scene, when her character stated that she admired Hitler.  Oy Vey!  I have to admit, watching her try to get out of that hole was hilarious.  Here she tries to explain to guest Glen Peloso and myself, that she in fact does not admire Hitler.  Lauren, thank you for setting the matter straight. . .  Hitler lover!

Our musical guest, Shawn Creamer, had to cancel at the last minute because he found out that Lauren loves Hitler. . .  Actually he got food poisoning.  It was the first time we’ve had a guest cancel with such short notice.  In a situation like this, there’s only one person to call:  Evelyn Reese.  I love having her on the show, even though she hates pets, like she admitted last night.  At least she doesn’t love Hitler!

Colin Mochrie has to be one of the most generous improvisers in the world. When he entered the scene and said that he “bought a hiding monkey that spits”, there was only one person who could do the part justice:  Marty Adams.  I love Marty Adams.  He’s currently a member of The Second City Mainstage, and he came and performed in Monkey Toast on his only night off.  What a great monkey!

So last week we not only had our first show after the pilot taping, but our first Monday show. We couldn’t get any Sunday nights booked in May, apparently it’s a popular time to get married. It felt weird coming in to do the show. The pilot taping had such a sense of finality to me that I almost felt like I didn’t want to do the show. But I’m glad I did, because the show was awesome!

We changed the staging of the show, and I have to admit, I didn’t like it. We moved the interview off the stage, like we did in the pilot, but for the pilot we had 5 cameras and tons of extra lighting. It worked for TV, but not for the live show. We also had a new technician doing the show. We always have some problems when someone new techs our show for the first time. But if that’s the worst thing that happens in a show, I’ll take it. I’m sure next week’s show will run more smoothly. As I’m a firm believer in the KISS principle (Keep It Simple, Stupid), I’ve decided to move to interview back on stage.

On to the show.

Comedian Dawn Whitwell always makes me laugh, and to prove my point about the Gladstone Ballroom and weddings, she admitted that she will be getting married there in the fall (I think it’s the fall).

Kim Parlee is a former student of mine, and when I watch her on BNN I often think to myself, “What the fuck is she talking about”. I’m Jewish and I still find BNN confusing. I even find their name confusing, BNN. Does it stand for Business Network News or Business News Network? I liked it better when it was ROB (Report on Business). I blame the CRTC. Wow, that really is a lot of acronyms!

Bob McDonald is always a great guest and a good sport. I love asking him questions that are posted on the Quirk & Quarks website. I’m always impressed that he actually knows the answers. And now I know that Dolphins and Whales get their fresh water from the organisms that they eat. . .  Who knew? Bob McDonald, that’s who. I hope that Bob gets the $100 million dollars that he needs to build his planetarium down on the waterfront.

You may be wondering why there’s no photo of Bob getting interviewed? The truth is that the lighting wasn’t great so a lot of the photos we took just didn’t come out. There are photos of Bob on the site from the last time he was on the show, and he looks quite fetching!

All in all, it was a great night.

I want to thank everyone who came out to the Gladstone on Sunday, April 27, for our TV Pilot taping. What an amazing night! From top to bottom it couldn’t have been a better day or show. You might be wondering, “What do you do on the day of a pilot taping?” Well if you’re me, you show up at 1pm to meet the crew and drop off the craft services (food), meal per diems, DV Tapes and to see if they need me to pick up anything else. Our director, The Great Dennis Saunders, asked me to pick up eight 9-volt batteries and then told me not to worry about a thing, the crew would take care of everything else.

Feeling at ease, I left the Gladstone and went straight to the Price Chopper next door and bought two buns. “Why did you buy two buns at Price Chopper?” you may ask. Well, it was the last day of Passover and I was just so done with Matzo. You see Matzo sucks. I’m serious, it literally sucks. It’s so dry that when you eat it, it sucks all the moisture out of your mouth and you’re left dryer than salt in the desert. So now with my carb rush starting, I went to see my voice coach, The Awesome David Smukler. Not only does Prof. Smukler help me with my speech, but he fixes my back at no extra charge! On my way home from my voice lesson, I stopped by the Galleria on Dufferin. I’d never been there before, but I thought I’d pop into Zellers and get some cheap batteries. Well, I couldn’t find Zellers… actually, I didn’t realize how large the mall was and how far away Zellers was from where I parked so I gave up as I was short on time. Luckily, there was another Price Chopper right there, and they had exactly eight 9-volt batteries. Now if you’re ever in a hurry, don’t go to Price Chopper on a Sunday, because they’re in no rush.

Let’s flash forward to the show. AWESOME! Our first guest, Nikki Paye really pumped up the crowd, and after our first improv set I knew we were golden. The rest of the show went so quickly. Prof. Ron Deibert was great and a good sport to boot. He doesn’t dress like your stereotypical Professor. Some people even thought he was part of the crew!

The improv was some of the best that I’ve ever seen. Sandy’s chair work was out of this world and Colin played a very convincing George Clooney.

The first act ended with a bang as Jan kissed the Pope Colin. Perhaps we’ll now see a new direction coming out of Rome?

At the beginning of the second act, our old friend, Evelyn Reese, crashed the stage to let us know that she’s there for us, in case a guest doesn’t show. How sweet of her.

Jaymz Bee was our featured guest in the second act, and he was as entertaining as ever. His story about living in a building of oddballs in Toronto led to this memorable moment as Jan reconnects estranged brothers Sandy and Colin.

Jaymz is being forced out of his loft in Liberty Village and times being what they are, it’s hard to find a loft to rent in downtown Toronto. As a matter of fact, it’s so hard, that Jaymz was thinking of moving to Mimico. That revelation led to the scene that brought down the house, Mimico: The Musical!

What a great night! Thank you all for coming out and being a part of it, and special thanks to our director, Dennis Saunders for putting it all together.

What a great show! It’s always awesome having the great Dave Bidini on the show. The only thing better than interviewing an awesome guest, is eating pie while doing it. Banana cream pie to be exact. Some of you might have thought that I was a terrible host for not offering Dave a bite of my pie. What you don’t know is that before the segment I offered Dave his own piece of pie, but he declined. He said he was too full from dinner. Then after the show, Dave’s sister tells me that he hates bananas, always has. Who hates bananas? Dave Bidini, that’s who. I guess the Rheostatics’ rider specified that there should be no bananas backstage. I’ll have to ask Dave about it next time he’s on the show.

Before the show Ron Tite asked me if he’s the guest that we’ve had on the most? I’m not sure, but I think Jaymz Bee has been on the most. But Ron could be right. Ron was certainly on a lot when we did the old show. His monologues about Oshawa are timeless. I would have linked Ron’s name to his site, but his domain name has expired. I’m going to buy Rontite.com, and I won’t give it up until I’m the new Premium Plus Cracker spokesperson/eater. I’m perfect for the job. Have you seen what I can do to a piece of pie?

What can I say about Evelyn Reese? A picture says a thousand words… Oh, and go see her new show, Evelyn Reese’s Family Room, at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre. You can get info by clicking on Evelyn’s name.One last thing thought that I forgot to bring up during the show. As my wife and I were leaving for the Gladstone, I noticed that two young men were practicing breakdancing in the schoolyard beside our house. There can be only two possible explanations for this; either Robert (the director who’s making the doc about breakdancing) is stalking me, or there’s a time-portal in the lane-way behind my house. We may never know the truth!

I wanted to thank everyone for coming out and making Easter Toast such a success. It’s been over twenty years since comedian, Simon Rakoff, and I have shared the stage, and while we’ve both lost a lot of hair in that time one thing remains the same: Simon is fucking hilarious! Oh, and he’s still Jewish, so that’s two things… Actually, I’m still Jewish as well, and also pretty fucking hilarious (if I do say so myself), so that’s four things. Deal with it.

It’s too bad that we couldn’t show a clip of Andrew Nisker’s film, Garbage! The Revolution Starts At Home. But if you’d like to see a clip of the film, just click here. You can also catch the entire movie at this month’s Hot Docs Festival.

For only the second time in Monkey Toast’s history, we randomly selected audience members to come up on stage and be guests on the show. That’s what happens on when you book a show on Easter Sunday and you run out of Jewish guests! All four audience members were fantastic. I’d like to thank Larissa, Cindy, Andrew and Robert for being such good sports. Can you believe that it was Cindy’s first time at the show? And I really thought Robert was joking when he said he was making a documentary about Break Dancing. Shows you just how lame (and white) I am. If you’d like to see some clips from Robert’s film, All Out War, just click here.

Sorry that it’s taken me so long to put up this post, but I’ve busy enjoying this awesome cold that’s been going around. Well, I’ve got to get going. I have a dentist appointment and if I’m late, they won’t give me any nitrous. See you next show!

Hey everyone, I hope you like our new and improved website. I’d like to thank our awesome web designer, Kirk Clyne, who did amazing job on both our old and new site. I’m still uploading photos and getting used to doing all the updates myself but please enjoy what we have here so far.

I’d like to thank everyone who came out to last Sunday’s show. During the show I talked about how excited I was about the new site and that I was going to start a show blog to talk about my thoughts regarding the show and joked that I’d write about things that bugged me about the last show. So here it is. The last show was AWESOME, but whoever put their coat on top of the Monkey Toast email list sign-up sheet, I’m the one that moved your coat. I did it because putting your coat over our email list bugged me.

So there you go… Oh, I was not so much bugged but Big Rude Jake and I were both disappointed that The Gladstone ran out of the white chocolate banana cream pie. My wife was happy, but man did I want a piece of that pie. Maybe next show! Hope to see you there.

Monkey Toast would like to thank all of you who came out to the show on Sunday, January 27, in support of the Parkdale Food Bank. Thanks to your generosity, we raised $1 534.36!! With the Second City donating $500 and Hershey’s giving $1 100, the grand total is over $3 000 for a very worthy cause. The cast, crew, and I had a great time at the show, and we hope you did as well.

If you were unable to attend but would like to make a tax deductible donation to the Parkdale Food Bank, you can send a check to:

St. Francis Table
1322 Queen Street West
Toronto, Ontario
M6K 1L4

Please put a memo on the check saying:
ParkdaleFood Bank Fund

The check should me made out to St. Francis Table.

Thank you for making this event a memorable night for all of us.

Due to the big snowstorm in December we had to reschedule our fundraiser for the Parkdale Food Bank. It will now take place on Sunday, January 27th. All money collected at the end of the show will be donated to the Parkdale Food Bank and our friends at Hershey’s Canada have agreed to match what we raise up to $1 100! Plus, The Second City has donated $500 to the cause! Please do NOT bring food, as we are NOT collecting food, but raising money.

If you cannot make it to the show, but would like to make a donation to the Parkdale Food Bank, please send a check to the following:

St. Francis Table
1322 Queen Street West
Toronto, Ontario
M6K 1L4
Please put a memo on the check saying:
Food Bank Fund