Monkey Toast has just been nominated for three 2010 Canadian Comedy Awards!  Along with receiving our seventh nomination for Best Improv Troupe (in seven years), Jan Caruana has been nominated for Best Female Improviser (she won the award in 2009), and Sandy Jobin-Bevans has been nominated for Best Male Improviser.

Also, Monkey Toast Players’ Matt Baram and Naomi Snieckus were nominated for Best Male and Female Improviser respectively, from their show, The Carnegie Hall Show, which was also nominated for Best Improv Troupe.  Paul Bates was nominated for Best Performance by an Ensemble (Television) for Dan For Mayor, and Sandy Jobin-Bevans was nominated in the same category for his role on Hotbox.  And lastly, but not leastly, Colin Mochrie is nominated for Canadian Comedy Person of the Year.

Congratulations to all the nominees!

What a crazy last night at the Gladstone!  Comedian Ron Sparks began the night by bending time.  Given only 5 minutes for his 7 minutes of new material, Ron forced it all to fit into only 9 minutes!

Next up, professional mascot, Markwell Ottolino-Perry, who is the mascot of a certain baseball team in town (but we’re not allowed to say which) refused to reveal the mascot secret of which part of the costume they actually see out of.

This led to the discovery that Monkey Toast Player, Matt Baram, has quick-change pants, which he made good use of by revealing his bare bottom to the audience.  Not to be outdone, Paul Bates, revealed his aqua-marine underwear.  There’s proof to it all somewhere on Facebook.

Lastly but not leastly (is that even a word?), friend of the show Dave Bidini told us how he’s going to the upcoming Vancouver Olympics to check out the party, not the sports.  That lead to a scene with Matt and Aurora Browne as broadcasters from the Olympics.  Due to a problem with the stage, Matt’s chair, fell into the stage as he sat down.  Luckily he wasn’t hurt, but Aurora laughed so hard that she almost gave birth (literally, she’s like 5 months pregnant).

All and all, a very memorable show to end our time at the Gladstone Hotel.  Hope to see you all at our new home, the Comedy Bar.

Monkey Toast rang in the new year a little late, on January 17th, but what a show it was!  We learned from comedian Ron Tite, that if an airline loses your bags, start a Facebook group to get them back.  Best Health editor, Bonnie Munday, taught us that parabens really aren’t that bad and conspiracy expert, Richard Syrett, taught us that Hitler was the fifth Beatle.  John, Paul, George, Ringo and Hitler.  Who would have guessed?

Dear Friends,

It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that Monkey Toast will be ending its run in the spring, as I will be moving to the UK.   I have loved performing Monkey Toast here in Toronto.  I can’t thank you, our audience, enough for being a part of something that’s very special to the cast and myself.

We will wrap-up Monkey Toast’s seven-year run in Toronto with 10 final shows:  two at the Gladstone Hotel in January, and then the remaining shows on Saturday nights at The Comedy Bar, where we will be moving to at the beginning in February.  We will end with two final shows on Saturday May 1st at 8pm and 10pm.

I hope that you will come out to our final series of shows.  They wouldn’t be the same without you.

Below is a list of our final show dates.

At the Gladstone Hotel on Sunday nights, 8pm, $10:
January 17 & 31

At the Comedy Bar on Saturday nights, 8pm, $10:
Feb 13 & 27
March 13 & 27
April 10 & 24
May 1 (8pm & 10pm)

Tickets for the shows at the Gladstone are available at the door.  For the Comedy Bar, advanced tickets can be purchased via their website (beginning on Tuesday), http://www.comedybar.ca, or by calling the box office at 647.898.5324 or at the door the night of the show.

I sincerely thank you for your continued support,

David Shore
Producer/Host
Monkey Toast
“…the best comedy deal in town.” - Now Magazine
www.monkeytoast.com

We had a great time at the 10th annual Canadian Comedy Awards in Saint John, New Brunswick this past weekend, and we took home two awards to boot!

Congratulations to Jan Caruana for winning Best Female Improviser, and to Kerry Giffin for winning Best Male Improviser!!  This is Jan’s first time winning the award and Kerry’s second.

Over the past six years, Monkey Toast has been nominated for 17 Canadian Comedy Awards winning 6 times!

Congratulations to all the winners and nominees.  Hope to see you all at next years awards!

In March, This Is Not A Reading Series asked us to perform at the launch for Jonathan Goldstein’s new book, Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bible!  The event took place at the Rivoli and the beyond capacity crowd was filled with fans of Goldstein’s CBC Radio show, Wire Tap.

Jonathan and David really hit it off.  Who knew that two neurotic Jews would get along so well? 

Thanks to Chris at TINARS and the good people at Penguin books for putting this event together.

Monkey Toast has been nominated for 4 2009 Canadian Comedy Awards!!  We are honoured to be nominated for the following awards:

Best Improv Troupe
Best Female Improviser - Lisa Merchant
Best Male Improviser - Kerry Griffin
Best Female Improviser - Jan Caruana

Fellow Monkey Toast Players, Naomi Snieckus and Matt Baram were also nominated in the best improviser catagories for their show, Impromptu Splendor, which was also nominated for best improv troupe.

Voting for the Canadian Comedy Awards is open until July 31.  To vote, click here.

Congratulations to all the nominees!!

Monkey. Toast. Sunday. June. 15th. 8pm. Gladstone. Hotel.

Suspect David “The Ringleader” Shore unexpectedly breaks with
tradition and opens his show WITHOUT complaining about anything. He
states, and I quote, “I’m actually pretty happy these days”. An
audience stunned, a tradition shattered, a donut I’m eating. Shore
informs his fans (or is that hostages?) that there will be “prizes”,
including a shirt that disparages the police department’s treatment of
black suspec…um, citizens. I inform all units to be ready for
anything.

His first “appointment” is Simon “The Traveller” Rakoff, one of
Canada’s finest comics. Rakoff launches into an incendiary diatribe
against small towns and cities in Canada that aren’t Toronto. Audience
claps for their lives when Rakoff does a drive-by word-shooting in
both French and English. Will need department translator’s help on
recording, I only caught “salle de bain” and “claire de lune”. Kevin
“88 Fingers” Baker laughs from behind his keyboard and Rakoff cuts
him. With words. Baker seemed only more amused.

Then, as per his usual modus operandi, Shore’s henchman come out and
make with the make-em-ups — including a scene mocking Italians,
winemaking and the mayor. Hmmm, could mean Shore is gearing up to take
on both “cosa nostra” and city hall…or he’s opening a spaghetti
house. Several cast members mime taking off their clothes. I drop
donut. Inform all units to be on the lookout for chocolate glazed.

Shore gives away his “Thirsty Sal” as a prize. It’s exactly what you
think it is.

Second “appointment” is Sheryl “Cell Phone” Steinberg, author of
Opportunity Rings. An opportunity for what, Steinberg, crime? Turns
out no, it’s about a tech-illiterate thirty-something whose husband
leaves her for an older woman. Steinberg’s charming while reading a
passage. Recommend by-the-book plan of action: buy book, draw bath,
read book. Kevin “Ebony and Ivory” Baker laughs about chicken wings.
Guest turns on him with wild rage. Baker seemed only more amused. He
is obviously unstable.

Henchman return. Audience (racketeering victims?) placed under duress
by “funny business”, including a man who fetishizes older women, and
cell phones taped to things. Shenanigans end with apparent remark
about terrorist bombing. HOW FAR WILL SHORE NEED TO GO BEFORE WE STOP
HIM?!? Coffee finished. Donuts done. Inform some units about other
units and what they say about them behind their back.

Shore gives away half-used bottle of mouthwash, comedy award badge,
chicken keychain and disparaging t-shirt as prizes.  Add kitsch
laundering to list of charges.

Third and final “appointment”, writer and pundit Andrew “GoMintA”
Coyne. Shore and Coyne engage in traitorous talk about corrupt mayors,
federal ministers being secretly recorded and even Prime Ministers
taking payoffs! It’s obvious this goes all the way to the top. Just
like my cup of fresh coffee. Coyne admits to distracting an officer of
the law with a new BMW, so much so that officer runs red light and
slams into said BMW, causing severe damage to Coyne’s vanity. Kevin
“Baby Got A Grand” Baker disinterested in interview. When confronted,
confesses he was thinking about how loud he was playing during last
song. Personal take? He’s a madman.

Shore has his henchman come out one more time and slay the audience
with John Meyer singing to Parliament and a “wife-of-the-year” tale of
bigamy. I informal all units in khakis and short shorts.

Show ends. Shore and assorted criminals in employ shake hostages down
for money, which they seem all too happy to give. Stockholm syndrome?

Will resume Shore-watch in two week’s time.

Backstage, the cast warmed up with a quick game of “Prop Snatch” (also known by another name that escapes the author right now).  You take an object and try to use it as anything else that it’s not (oh wait…I think Lisa Merchant calls it “Many Uses”…or something like that).  We used a Steam Whistle plastic cup, which soon became a police siren on top of a car, earrings, an oversized wrist-watch…and in Sandy Jobin-Bevan’s hands, a drinking cup?  Seriously…he used it as a cup like three times.

On to the show then…it opened with the acoustic stylings of Shawn Creamer.  His original music had everyone’s heads nodding to the beat.  Discussion afterward mostly included statements of “Where can we go hear that guy?” and “Seriously…Sandy used the plastic cup as a plastic cup?!?”

Next up was Professor David Shore, not to be confused with David Shore, our cranky yet lovable host.  It was prophesized that the meeting of these two might create a time vortex, into which the Universe would slowly be sucked away and perhaps all known things would cease to exist.  Instead, it led to some heady comedy about people with one body appendage missing.

Our last guest was comedian Debra DiGiovanni.  Her personal tales of woe led to awesome tales of awesomeness.  Lisa Merchant owned a cat that behaved like Fonzie, and those in the audience old enough to remember this character were impressed with Mr. Constable’s saying “Ayyyy!” about half a dozen times.  Seriously, can’t that cat update his material?

It was a great, silly night of improv and laughter.  Great guests, great scenes, GREAT TIMES!

My name is Milo Slippers.  I am 8 years old.  My dad took me to see a show called Monkey Toast.  I was excited because monkeys are my best animal and every year I ask for one, but I never get it because my dad says that Santa can’t bring animals or fruit across the border like the time my sister got stopped at the airport on our way home from Disney World because she had a turkey sandwich and the man said that she couldn’t bring it in because it used to be an animal but then she said she was hypoglycemic and so he made her eat it in the line up.

At first, I was disappointed that there weren’t any monkeys in the show and thought that my dad was lying so I would like him more than my mom but then a man in a jacket came out and talked about why he was mad. But then a lady came out and said some jokes!  I made my dad write down the names so I could say them properly.  Her name was Laurie Elliot. There were some other kids in the audience and she told them to put their hands on their ears so they wouldn’t hear her say blow job. I asked my dad what a blow job was and he said when it happens, I’d know.

Then some people came out and said some scenes.

Then the man brought out another lady.  She spends her days drinking wine and saying why people should buy books.  Her name was Barbara Bower, but she said people call her Babs.  I liked it so I went home and called my sister Babs but she didn’t like it because her name is Lorraine.  But now everyone is calling her Babs too.  That first lady named Babs got to write her own questions because she didn’t really believe that the people who do acting are making it up as they go along.  Her hair was very shiny.

Then those people came out and said more scenes.

Then there was a break and my dad bought me some french fries that came with this crazy sauce that we don’t have at home because my mom isn’t a chef and our kitchen isn’t a restaurant.

Then a man from TV came on.  His name is Richard Crouse.  The man in the jacket (whose name is David—I remember because that is my cousin’s name and he has spiderman underwear) made Richard Crouse show him his socks.  They were very fancy.  The Richard Crouse is on TV and talks about movies.  That is his job.  Probably that is the best job in the world except maybe testing jet packs in the future.  He went to Rome to interview the man from Star Wars (the new ones, not the good ones).  Then he could only talk to him for two minutes because a woman had to have makeup on.

Then those people came out again and said some more scenes.

Then everyone bowed.  Then we went home.

It was fun.  I liked Monkey Toast a lot.  When I grow up I’m going to have comedy too.

The people who said the acting were called Lisa Merchant, Sandy Jobin-Bevans, Jan Caruana, Naomi Snieckus, Herbie Barnes, and Scott Montgomery.