My name is Milo Slippers.  I am 8 years old.  My dad took me to see a show called Monkey Toast.  I was excited because monkeys are my best animal and every year I ask for one, but I never get it because my dad says that Santa can’t bring animals or fruit across the border like the time my sister got stopped at the airport on our way home from Disney World because she had a turkey sandwich and the man said that she couldn’t bring it in because it used to be an animal but then she said she was hypoglycemic and so he made her eat it in the line up.

At first, I was disappointed that there weren’t any monkeys in the show and thought that my dad was lying so I would like him more than my mom but then a man in a jacket came out and talked about why he was mad. But then a lady came out and said some jokes!  I made my dad write down the names so I could say them properly.  Her name was Laurie Elliot. There were some other kids in the audience and she told them to put their hands on their ears so they wouldn’t hear her say blow job. I asked my dad what a blow job was and he said when it happens, I’d know.

Then some people came out and said some scenes.

Then the man brought out another lady.  She spends her days drinking wine and saying why people should buy books.  Her name was Barbara Bower, but she said people call her Babs.  I liked it so I went home and called my sister Babs but she didn’t like it because her name is Lorraine.  But now everyone is calling her Babs too.  That first lady named Babs got to write her own questions because she didn’t really believe that the people who do acting are making it up as they go along.  Her hair was very shiny.

Then those people came out and said more scenes.

Then there was a break and my dad bought me some french fries that came with this crazy sauce that we don’t have at home because my mom isn’t a chef and our kitchen isn’t a restaurant.

Then a man from TV came on.  His name is Richard Crouse.  The man in the jacket (whose name is David—I remember because that is my cousin’s name and he has spiderman underwear) made Richard Crouse show him his socks.  They were very fancy.  The Richard Crouse is on TV and talks about movies.  That is his job.  Probably that is the best job in the world except maybe testing jet packs in the future.  He went to Rome to interview the man from Star Wars (the new ones, not the good ones).  Then he could only talk to him for two minutes because a woman had to have makeup on.

Then those people came out again and said some more scenes.

Then everyone bowed.  Then we went home.

It was fun.  I liked Monkey Toast a lot.  When I grow up I’m going to have comedy too.

The people who said the acting were called Lisa Merchant, Sandy Jobin-Bevans, Jan Caruana, Naomi Snieckus, Herbie Barnes, and Scott Montgomery.